Recently our daughter went through a stressful and at times near breaking point separation.
This separation was finalised in about 2 and a half years.
From a fathers (dad’s) perspective it wasn’t nice to see your daughter go through this harrowing experience. I brought up my daughters to be very independent, thoughtful. To be understanding of others and not to be afraid to challenge issues that would confront them, but to see my daughter grappling with the issue of separation and basically being ignored by her now ex partner who lied, intimidated, harassed and tried to hide assets, what a callous person he was.
This made me very angry and at times helpless as I didn’t want to inflame the situation by being confrontational or violent as this would only make matters worse for my daughter and the grandchildren.
We have a strong and supportive family and together we held strong to encourage and help keep her mentally stable. There were times she was ready to basically throw in the towel just to get the matter over and done with. My daughter was in the relationship for about 21 years and over this period she didn’t realise how she was being manipulated and controlled. We tried to explain what was happening to her and I believe some way through the ordeal she gradually started to realise. I kept reminding her to keep patience and in time it will work itself through.
Both her mum and I found it hard to deal with as the time went on with no result in sight. When the final settlement came through, we were all elated and relieved the whole messy situation was over. After about 5 months my daughter was back, happy energised and creative again, living life.
It was a worrying and stressful time and we had to maintain our strength to keep our daughters spirits up.
Over my working years, other men who were going through a separation would brag about how they delt with their partners, give them nothing, change the locks on the house, get everything out of the house, clean out the bank accounts, go on the dole to get out of maintenance payments, tell the kids and anyone who wanted to listen what a horrible bitch she is.
Some men find it difficult to reason a sensible outcome, they want to cause as much grief as they can towards their partner. Is this there coping mechanism or how men’s brains are wired to not accept losing to a female.
I also think there is a lack of accountability from the lawyers, they seem to let the situation drag on and over time this affects’ the mental health and leads to anxiety of affected family and in some cases their close friends.
-Gippsland Dad-
